Overdue Baby Pics

I'm so sorry! It's been forever since I've posted pictures of Bella! I know some of you have probably surfed my way several times and been disappointed by my theological and philosophical rants, wondering how that little girl was growing up. I'm going to stop talking now, except to walk you through the last few months of pictures:

We have started practicing on oatmeal. Bella is usually Ok for a few bites, but then decides that a bottle is way faster, so why are you making me eat from this tiny spoon?

A valentine's visit from Granna and Papa (the Smith grandparents).

Booyah ... that's my daughter sitting playing piano by herself. Why did I just say "Booyah"? 1995 called, they want their slang term back.

We took a short walk to the park last week for some Spring pictures. Bella was going for the "thoughtful, serious" look in this one.

Having fun with Mommy.

"Daddy! Did you see those ducks?!?" ... That's what she would say if she could.

She took some silly pictures with Daddy.

This is usually what happens after a few spoonfuls.

We're sitting up now! She can sit up by herself for a few minutes, and is trying very hard to start crawling. 

These next few were taken just today while she was playing. She was smiling at me alot, so I grabbed the camera and got these framable gems.

That Was Moving Day

I give you "That Was Moving Day."

I would LOVE to sit and make all sorts of excuses about how I didn't take enough pictures, how they are edited poorly, how I forgot my camera was set to "manual focus" instead of "auto focus," so most of them are blurry ... but I'm not going to do that. Here's my very first attempt at anything resembling stop motion video. More importantly, here's what our moving day looked like:

Thanksgiving and Beyond

::deep breath::

Back to normalcy. Whatever that means, I feel like we're back to our real life again. It's been a whirlwind of a week, with alot of activity, alot of people, and ALOT of driving.

Thanksgiving day was great. We got to have dinner with my mom's side of the family. My parents were in Las Vegas, so Bethany and I were the representatives of the Smith family. I was really excited to find out that my grandma was going to be there. She has Alzheimer's and lives in a nursing home. I haven't gotten to see her in several months, and she has never met Bella. It was actually the first time Bella got to meet most of those family members. Here's a few pictures of her meeting some family for the first time. These aren't in any chronological order.

This is my grandfather's mother-in-law. She lives in Mexico and speaks no English. When I was younger, and her visits to my grandpa and his wife lined up with our family visits, I would always make sure I said "hola" and "adios" to her whenever we came and went. That was (and still basically is) my Spanish vocabulary. For whatever reason, she felt a bond with me and would always ask about her "little amigo." So now I'm still her little amigo, and she got to meet my daughter, who is now affectionately her "amigita."

 

Here is a man completely smitten by his great-granddaughter. This is my mom's dad, Pappaw. He absolutely loved seeing her, and out of his 10 great-grands, this is the first he's gotten to see so young, and his first to feed. She was wonderful for him, of course.

My family has a long legacy of music lovers. I think alot of that comes from Pappaw. In this picture he's singing a verse from "Because He Lives."

"How sweet to hold a newborn baby, and feel the pride and joy she gives; 

but greater still the calm assurance, 

this child can face uncertain days because He lives." 

I don't know whether she knew who she was holding or not, but it was overwhelming to get to see my Mammaw holding my daughter. I will cherish these pictures and this day. 

This is Bella and her Great(est) Aunt Willa. Bella smiled so much for her.

Friday after Thanksgiving I had the chance to play some music on the Riverwalk in San Antonio with an artist named Darrell Smith. We kicked off the Parade of Lights that starts the Christmas Season on the river. Bethany and Bella get the award for best gig family. They endured 10 hours outside on the Riverwalk. It was a really long day, and all of us were fighting colds.  

Bella and Pappaw saying good-bye for now. She was obviously heart-broken. 

Saturday evening we drove from San Antonio to my parents' house in Montgomery, and got there just as the rest of the family was leaving. We got to sneak a few pictures in, and spent a little time with just my parents and my brother and his wife. Bella has decided that when Papa (my dad) holds her, she will stick out her bottom lip. We're not sure why she does it, but it's really cute. I was prepared with camera in hand. 

Here's a picture of 4 generations. I'm the only boy. And the only one looking at this particular camera at this particular time.

Sunday afternoon, just as I was waking up from a much needed nap, we got a call saying that Bethany's grandfather was not doing so well. He's been bed-ridden for about a year-and-a-half, and somewhat unresponsive for the last few months. A few hours later we got the call that he had passed away. Monday morning we packed up again and headed to Burleson to be with Bethany's family and attend the funeral on Tuesday. We were very grateful that, not two weeks before he died, he got to see his great-granddaughter. As you can see, she had no idea what was going on, but this is another picture and event that we will all cherish. 

Those Were the Days

I remember days when I used to actually read books, and write songs, and journal, and sit down at a piano or guitar for hours. Where did that time go? I even remember days when I would know exactly what I wanted to write in a blog, and I would write it. Most of the time I would be sitting alone at Starbucks, acting like the quiet artistic type. It was so much more inspiring to sit and think that people might wonder what I was writing.

Not that sitting here watching my daughter's eyes get heavy while she swings is not inspiration enough. I can't tell you how overwhelming it is sometimes to stare into her face, or see her grin, and know that this is my daughter.


I'll be honest; I get pretty caught up in the logistics of life these days, and I forget to just sit and observe. Maybe that's the difference between now, and back when I used to read and write and journal. I've always been an observer. I've always quietly placed myself a little outside from the action to watch, learn, and analyze. Now it seems like there's so much to do that I don't have much chance to look around.

I received one of those thought-provoking emails that was forwarded to 30 other people besides me. These are usually thrown right into the trash, but today I read (meaning skimmed) the words that were sent. (BTW, I'll probably die in 7 days for not sending the email to at least 10 people,... so, .... um, my bad). I honestly don't really remember what all it said, I just remember a line that was something like "we've learned to make a living, not a life."

I love that my favorite hobby is my career. I'm thrilled at the experiences and opportunities it has brought my way. Part of me, of course, wants to be "known" as someone who is important to my field. I had a strange observation yesterday of certain circles I used to be in, how they keep rolling, with different personnel; And I don't fit in anymore. Those circles were what I needed at the time, and I moved on. I think that's a healthy way to live and grow. I can't say that my "circle" right now is exactly what I was expecting for this point in my life. But, I also don't think my heightened sense of "entitlement" is of God, so I embrace where I am and what I'm doing as God's provision.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not upset that my career goals for age 27 look different than current reality. How stupid I would be to look at that and wonder where my life's purpose was ... when my life's purpose is 5 feet away in a battery-powered swing (I will NEVER understand why they can't just add a simple A/C adapter to these things).



I've talked about it before, and now is the time where I start speaking things that I know are true, but are harder to believe are true.

I do music. I am not music. "Musician" qualifies me as someone in this society who earns money to provide for a family. I don't do fatherhood, I AM a father. "Husband" is not an activity, it's an identity. In ten years, no one will care which CDs I played on, or which artists I've played for (as if anyone cared now), what will matter is how much love and peace is found in my home. What will matter is how much my daughter trusts me, and how close we are because of quality time spent together. What will matter is how in love I am with my wife, even after 11 years, in my late 30s (*shudder*). Yes, I admit I want my family to be proud of what I do, and what I've done, and continue to have reasons to be proud of my accomplishments. But more than that (naming it, claiming it here), I want for them to be proud of the love they receive from a dad who is there, who pays attention, who teaches, who leads, who provides, and who might be a little quiet and withdrawn at times, just observing the blessings that he has.


This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for my own little family. I'm thankful for my dream girl, who liked me enough to marry me and combine our life's journeys. I'm thankful for my little dream girl, a complete surprise and an even more complete joy.

I'm also thankful for Flikr, and my ability to completely ruin a moment. :-) Have a good holiday! Eat more than you should!

Pictures

I don't in any way consider myself a "photographer," but I do enjoy taking pictures -- hobby-style. I am finally working towards having equipment that comes close to capturing life the way I see it, or at least the way I want others to see it. These are some of my favorites so far. If you are an actual photographer, or know more about taking pictures than I do, I'd love to get some feedback. Even if you're not a photographer, I'd love to know what you think. After posting these, I've realized that I have alot of flower pictures. This is a recent development, something I hadn't really tried until a few weeks ago. I like the flower pictures, I might dive into that a little more. So, here they are: