Day Trip to Galveston

Today, Bethany and I both had a full day off. That rarely happens, so we took advantage of the day and decided to do something fun. We have been wanting to see both the Pompeii exhibit at the History Museum, and the Titanic exhibit at Moody Gardens. Since the museums are closed on Mondays, we headed down to Galveston to see the Titanic exhibit, and visit the aquarium. We just bought a camcorder yesterday:


We took some video, which I will post once I figure that out. For now, here's a few pictures I took at Sonic when some birds gathered around our car, and a few aquarium pics.

Finally....

It's been weeks, but Bethany and I finally get to spend an entire day together. We started off by sleeping until almost noon. I know that won't be happening once the baby comes, so we're kinda soaking up this freedom while we have it.

* SIDE NOTE *

I absolutely CANNOT STAND the freecreditreport.com commercials. The music is horrible, and the guy singing in the commercial can't lip sync. So, if you've ever wondered what music I "hate," then add those jingles to "Shackles" by Mary Mary, and you have my whole list of songs I wish I had never heard.

So, back to this day together. I wish I could call it a day off, but it's not. I've gotta play a wedding this evening, which Bethany will attend, then we get in the car and drive quickly to Kirby's Steakhouse, where Max Cat will have been playing an hour before I get there, and I will set up and play the last three sets. This will be #19 out of 20 straight days where I have either played a gig or a rehearsal. My hands are tired.

Last night was one of the more useless gigs I've ever done. Max Cat played at a Steakhouse/Lounge last night called J. Durham, in Champion Forest (North Houston). Normally it's not a really busy place, but we'll at least have 15-20 people in the Lounge through the night. It's more like a local bar, so everybody knows everybody and they just hang out. Last night, at its busiest, there were 11 people there. Then, by 10pm, everyone had left. We were playing for the bartender, the waitress, and the owner. So, we took a long break until two ladies came in. Then we played for them until about 11:30 (we're scheduled to play until 11). As we were about to pack up, an older couple came in and asked the bartender how long the band was going to go. He said, "I think that's their last song." And, I guess she has issues with that kind of thing, because she went a little psycho on her husband. "This is s***! Pay the f***ing tab, if they're not f***ing playing I'm not staying here to drink!" Apparently someone down the street had been telling people that the band was playing until midnight. Sorry about that. Always a good story at J. Durham.

I have two regrets in this band. First, I should've never even implied that I could ever sing a note anywhere near in tune. Now, every gig I've got a microphone in front of me, and if I don't use it, the singer will push it into my face and look at me until I sing. I joined this band because it was a chance to play some cool, challenging, instrumental pseudo-jazz music with some experienced musicians. Then, after a personnel change, our bass player married a singer, and now we're a vocal band. Most of our night is pop music, which I can play anywhere. I want to play music, not accompany a singer. I do that in every other band. And I certainly don't want to sing harmonies to "It's Too Late" or "We Are Family." I'm not hugely upset at the number of gigs we've gotten since the change, but what's the point playing more often when it's not the type of outlet I need. Maybe this is the inspiration I need to begin working on my own music. It's a thought. We'll see. ... Oh, my second regret? Admitting that I could play "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" .... and sing it.

I'm gonna finish "Just Friends" with my wife.

Easter Festivities

Bethany and I are about to have our first and last Easter. Well, not our last, technically, but from now on the festivities will probably lean more towards what's fun for the child. Although, I doubt it. We colored eggs today, it was fun with no kids involved. We started with off-brand colors, but after we realized there was no "magic crayon" i ran to the store and got some Paas colors. How exciting is this ... it came with tattoos. They're for either the eggs or skin. I'll wait till Easter sunday to put one on my skin. That'll look good on the 2nd Baptist big screen. Here's a few pictures of our work.








Mrs. Easter




The Chicken winds up and walks and lays gum eggs (I found that myself)



One for each of the possible baby genders





"Peeps." The real meaning of Easter

Prayer Hour

This is a video I was hired to underscore. "Pastor Shepherd" is the father of one of my guitar students. Obviously, this is satire, so don't take it too seriously. He's got several different videos on YouTube, but so far I think this is the funniest one.





IN OTHER NEWS:

Life is good. Bethany and I somehow got ourselves on a crazy sleeping schedule this week where we go to bed between 3-4am and sleep till 11-12. It works ok for us during the week, since she works till almost midnight anyway, but Sunday's gonna come tomorrow morning, and my body is going to hate me for waking up in "the middle of the night" when 7am rolls around.

We've started looking at new living options once the baby arrives. We'll probably stay at these apartments until our lease is up in Nov. We'd love to move into a house, but are a little overwhelmed by some of the costs involved. Especially since we really hadn't been saving or preparing for this yet. We're just to the point where I feel like our monthly finances have started to settle enough to figure out a budget. But nooooooo, now we've gotta turn everything around and focus on the future more. I'm very thankful that we got our life insurance taken care of before we found out about the baby. I would never have even known where to start thinking about all that stuff, so thanks to our agent Jarred for calling me and gently explaining everything.

Life is definitely coming at us fast. Seems like just a year ago we were dating. Oh yeah, we were just dating a year ago. We weren't even engaged yet. Now, we're looking at houses, shopping for baby furniture, and deciding which instruments our kids will play! I'm only slightly freaked out. I don't mean that sarcastically, either. I'm happy about all the changes. I'm excited to have a family.

This is Josh, signing off.

Honeymoon Pics

Our honeymoon was in Italy. We spent a few days in Rome, then headed north to Florence for a few days, then over to Venice for a few days, then back to Rome again. We were gone for 9 days, and loved every minute.



Visiting the Colosseum



A Square in Florence



Beautiful bride






Sticking our hands in the mouth of the thing




GELATO!




Looooooong train ride




Friendly birds in Venice

A Few More Wedding Pics

More Wedding Pictures

Catching Up

I didn't really post much between November and February, so I'm going to do that now. During that time I got married, and honeymooned in Italy. Here's a few pictures from the ceremony, if you didn't get to see it:

Baby Update!

Here's the latest Smith family portrait! We saw the doctor last Thursday, and got a new ultrasound. We tried to listen to the heartbeat, but they said it's probably a little bit too early to hear it. But, we did see it fluttering on the ultrasound. Just for your reference, the head is the part on the left there. We got to see the "neuro"-something line that will become the spinal chord. It's entirely surreal.

Bethany is doing well, I guess. Considering she's got another life inside of her, she's doing wonderfully. She's exhausted and sore and feeling sick most of the time, which I don't like. There's not really much I can do to stop all that, so I'm doing my best to help keep her comfortable and I'm trying to help around the house when I can.

Any huge life-change brings with it the need for, of course, new technology. So, I'm in the market for a new camcorder and digital camera with which to document the months and years ahead. I'm taking suggestions and tips, so if you know anything about those let me know. The camcorder just needs to be easy to use and have a decent picture. I'd like the digital camera to be affordable, but capable of professional-looking photos.

Nothing Important

I don't really have anything profound to say today. I'm just kind of restless and bored, so I thought I'd post a picture, talk about what's been happening lately, and just kill some more time.

I'm off today. I like days off. I started out really slow today, though, by waking up around noon, and going straight to the computer. That usually sets up my day to be all about bumming around on the computer. Then I decide to take a break for my eyes, and sit in front of the TV. Not a very productive day, but if I'm not spending money, I have no problems sitting around not making any.

I didn't even answer my phone today. Sometimes I just can't talk to people about what they want from me next. I need a day to think that I control what I do. So, I'm sorry if I screened your call today, but more than likely you were calling me to tell me something I need to do or somewhere I need to be, and it can wait. I honestly believe that the convenience of cell phones is more for the owner, not the caller. I don't have a phone so everybody can get a hold of me whenever they want. Certain people have that privilege, of course, but I need the ability to be unreachable sometimes.

One thing I did today was play a bit on my Rhodes 88. I don't do that much, mostly because it doesn't sound that great right now. It needs some servicing, which I could do myself, I just don't really know how. And I don't know where to take it in Houston, so it's just going to sit most of the time for now, looking THIS COOL:



Cool story about that piano. A guy at my dad's church was wanting to get rid of it and told my dad about it, but had given it to someone else. So my dad was talking to the new owner, and he didn't really need it, he just didn't want it to be thrown away. So, he got it for me. Now I have a 1978 Rhodes suitcase piano. It's missing the amp, but works Ok if I just plug into another amp from the accessory output.

I scored my first "soundtrack" last week. It wasn't anything big, just a 30 second commercial for my church's Easter service. It was a bit frustrating, because they didn't give me much time to do it. But, I was excited about the opportunity, so I stayed up all night Wednesday working on it. The next morning, after maybe 2-3 hours sleep, everybody that heard it loved it, then I got the "but.....it's not exactly what we were hoping for." I was supposed to copy some other commercial they were basing theirs off, but I was given reference to movies and soundtracks that didn't sound like the original commercial. I changed elements of it over and over, until they were somewhat happy. After 7 drafts, I finally have 30 seconds of music. Even so, they wanted me to change stuff, but I couldn't do any more. It's not mixed/mastered yet, so here's the rough version:



I find it interesting that the colors of dark chocolate M&M's are slightly lighter than milk chocolate M&M's. They also taste better.

I can't wait till this kid is born, then I can share all of that wisdom with him/her.

As if marriage wasn't enough...

It's an age old story:

Boy meets girl before he can remember,

boy and girl keep in touch their whole lives,

boy and girl eventually date after college,

boy and girl get married November 17, 2007...

...and find out they're 6 weeks pregnant February 19, 2008.





I know, most guys would spring for a nice card or flowers for the Three Month-iversary, but not me. I decided on something more lasting.

So, the questions begin, right? Here I'll answer them before you ask:

- No we weren't trying
- Yes, we're THRILLED!
- It's not a honeymoon baby
- We were on birth control (my boys can just swim)

We've got tons of nervous excitement, and from my perspective, the next 8 months are going to be FOREVER long. But I get a cute little pregnant wife. That's kinda fun.

Check back here every few weeks and I'll post updates on the new baby and other things.

Alot Going On

There is way too much happening lately. I feel like I'm being completely run over by life. Not that everything is bad, there's just so much going on, it's hard to keep up.

I finally "finished" my latest recording project. That's a long story that needs not be repeated. We'll just say I learned alot, and I'm glad it's over. You can probably find it somewhere in the near future. Myspace, or something. I honestly don't care. And I hate that this is my attitude about it all. But, I find that "I don't care" is much easier than continuing to be upset over circumstances. I've got better things to think about lately.

This week has been crazy busy. The absolute highlight of my week was Thursday night, when I saw Bethany for maybe 3 hours. It's getting harder and harder to be apart from her. I wasn't expecting that. It might be because our times together have gotten shorter and shorter, and have recently included other people (we're really fond of time spent between just the two of us). Maybe I'm realizing I need her more than I knew before. I'm a guy, so I'm not supposed to be open about that, am I? I need her, though. It's becoming that much more frustrating, though, that she's not here with me. I could write for another three hours on how I feel about that, but I won't. I have less than two weeks to survive before she can be with me. And the first thing we're doing once we're together is going on a long vacation ... I can't complain about that.

Beyond seeing her a few hours this week, I feel like I've played every ounce of musical creativity I can muster. Literally, within one week, I played with a salsa band, a jazz band, a country band, a worship band, an acousti-folk artist, and a church orchestra. I'm spent, but there's one more gig tonight. Then I get to move into our new apartment tomorrow, assuming the power company will provide an account number before then, so we can prove we bought power and can move in.

It was quite a pain this week, trying to get everything the power company needed from me. They needed stuff faxed to them, or scanned and emailed, and I couldn't do either of those from home, so I had to fit in everything in between teaching lessons at Second Baptist. Oh yeah, and my car was broken into Monday, so there's been that to deal with this week. They stole a ton of stuff, most of it critical to my work, so I've been trying to figure out how to replace it. Bethany's jewelry (ALL of it) was stolen, so I've been trying to buy her stuff here and there so she's got something to wear on our honeymoon.

I'm tired of the attacks. I'm tired of the Enemy trying to sabotage our wedding and marriage. Maybe that's too pentecostal of me to point to demonic attack for stuff ... but I can't figure out what else it could be. Why else would cell phones all of a sudden stop sounding clear, and never have signal when bethany and I needed to talk? It's the one form of communication we have, and it frustrates us more than allows us to talk. Why else would my car get broken into the week before my busiest gigging weekend in a while, and three weeks before our wedding? Why else would her jewelry have been left in my car that one time? Why is there something new wrong with my car every time i walk outside to drive it? There's other things. ... There's TONS of other things. Too many list, and too personal to talk about.

I dunno, maybe every guy goes through this when they're so close to marriage, and can't see their fiancee more than a few hours a week, if that. Almost there. My next post will either be more depressing or post-wedding. See ya

What I'm Learning

I could probably title this: "What's really frustrating me right now" ... but I'm choosing to remain positive. It's true that the harder you work out, the stronger you become; I'm learning the same is true in life when it comes to character.

It feels like, lately, every aspect of my life is being tested and stretched. In my work, my abilities and creative output have been questioned, and at times, rendered useless. In love, my patience and perseverence have been stretched, and my true nature has been laid bare before me. In my personal life, I feel run down, overwhelmed, and stressed out, almost to the point where I can't see relief coming, which is scary.

I don't really see the need to run down the details of all of these problems, just share what conclusions I've made, and am continuing to make.

The opinions of others don't (or, at least shouldn't) decide who I am as a musician, and what is considered "good" or "bad." I have the bittersweet opportunity, currently, to find myself in very diverse musical situations from day to day. The hardest thing for me is to remember that what is "cool" in one circle is most likely not cool in another. This means everything from dress to relating to others to actual notes played. It's very hard for me, then, to find any identity in those things. That might be the biggest benefit of it all. I can't tell people "I'm a worship musician" or "I'm a jazz musician" because I'm only those things one night a week. I guess what I'm learning through this is that you have to know your audience. I get SO frustrated (or, if you know me well enough, you know it's more anger than frustration) when something that I'm proud of, musically, gets rejected or ridiculed by another person. Recently I was producing a CD, and I had written an interlude for an artist's song. I had been given freedom to create a mood and mold this song. After several recording sessions, and hours of work writing, recording, and editing this music, the artist told me they "hated" what i wrote, and we had to cut it out. It was the wrong "vibe" for the song. What ticked me off was that it was my favorite part of the song, as it was everyone else who had heard it to that point. But, as a producer, I'm to be submissive to the artist, and the music was cut out. There was so much I wanted to say, and I could've defended my 8 bars for hours, but I wasn't paying for it, so my opinion was useless. That's a hard place to be in. I'm still trying to figure out how to balance my thoughts when I'm hired to do a job based on my abilities, and then because I'm "hired," my abilities are at the mercy of whoever likes or doesn't like my work. Here's a tip for anyone that has someone else write music for them: Your opinions are welcome, usually, but use tact. To say you "hate" what someone has spent time and creativity and experience to write screams loudly "I'm not as good as you and I'm going to use what little power I have to make myself feel better than you." ... and it hurts.

I'm almost married. May God hasten the day. I think weddings are beautiful, but I think they're also a tool of the enemy. Don't assume I'm just a guy that doesn't like picking colors and decorations. (I am, just don't assume that's what this is about). I think that the time before the marriage is probably the most important part of courtship. True selves are becoming revealed, comfortability is being found (both good and bad), and lives are very close to changing forever. At the same time, all attention and effort and energy is going into planning an event. A social event. Decor is chosen, details are fought over, and all of our identity is placed into what color or music or food we choose. What better thing to distract a couple that should be learning how to love each other than a huge, life-consuming project that blends dreams and desires and disapointments and deadlines. Not "blends" like a nice combination, but "blends" like the blades that frappe ice and fruit and powders to create nasty protein shakes that dont' taste good but are supposedly good for you. ... I digress. What am I learning? Marriage is not going to make me happy. She can't make me happy. Marriage is a mirror that reveals our filth and selfishness and pride, and somehow can bring us closer to God. She can't complete me, and shouldn't ... that's asking way to much of another human being.

So, those are some of the main things I'm finding out lately. There's tons more, but I've already written enough. Maybe I'll think of some more big ones and continue this later. Oh, one more thing I'm learning: You choose positiveness. It might be in your personality to lean towards negative or positive, but either way, you can choose to think positively and find the best in situations. I don't know how to do this, but I know that it's a choice. Anybody that knows how can tell me. Thanks.

Right now...

I'm always wary about what to write on these blogs. I mean, how much
should I really reveal about myself to whatever random person decides
to read this?

I'm a very private person. I am extremely choosey about who I decide
to open up to. I'm untrusting. I can't tell if that's a good thing or
a bad thing.

I can tell that I'm in an annoyingly loud Starbucks, and I'm
putting in headphones. They are singing the orders in broadway musical
voices, which is just a little too much excitement for my barely awake
mind. Yes, 1:15pm, barely awake.

So, back to my privacy. I struggle between desiring community and
openness and transparency, and my own tendencies to be reserved and
private. I don't like overbearing people all up in my business. I'm
intensely independent, to the point that I'm almost offended if a
suggestion comes at the wrong time from the wrong person. It takes
alot for me to feel comfortable around other people. It takes a strong
confidence that I don't often have.

I guess I don't mind when people suggest things to me, but I think
people might confuse my lack of action or word as a loss for
direction. That's usually not true. I think before I act, and most
likely I'll have a whole situation worked out before I make the first
move.

Maybe it just freaks me out to think that people observe me and take
notice of what I do and say. I usually just want to sneak by
unnoticed. I don't like attention much, I get uncomfortable when I'm
singled out of a group (even family and close friends). I like to
quietly do my thing. I like one-on-one conversations and interactions.

I've been realizing some of the inner struggles of my heart and mind
over the last few years, as I've gotten to know some of the inner
struggles of another heart. It's been scary, it's been frustrating.
I'm sure we all fight with some sort of self-righteousness. I thought
I was humble. Ha! I'm much more selfish than I could have imagined. I
do believe, though, that a close relationship (such as marriage)
should reveal your selfishness or it's not doing its job. I'm
overwhelmed right now with who I am, but I'm confident that God is
working in me, and using Bethany to shape me into the man I'm supposed
to be.

I get overwhelmed when I look at who I wish I was, or who I could be
right now. "If only I'd read my Bible every day in college," "If only
I had a church home for those 6 years I was playing at different
churches each week," "If only I was more spiritual, then I'd be more
apt to get out and serve and less apt to sit around wishing I was more
spiritual and ready to be out serving and making a difference." It's
sad for me to look back and miss how things were in 9th grade.

I've got enough smarts to know, though, that God loves and can use the
man I am right now... this unshowered, unshaved, quiet guy, sitting in
the Starbucks, missing his fiancee, wondering if he's good enough for
her, ashamed at his current heart condition, trying to remember if
he's always been this quiet or if it's a result of too much time spent
alone... that guy. God can use me now. Maybe the forced smile I gave
to the Waffle House waitress today was just what she needed. Maybe the
bottled water I gave the weasely lawn guy that I don't trust was
exactly what he was praying for, if he does pray.

Yes, God can use me for bigger things. Or, God could not use me at
all. Why do I always think God has to use me for huge things? God
doesn't need me. At all. I forget that real life is ministry. I keep
thinking God's about to allow me these huge oppertunities, so I sit at
home waiting for them, and come out sometimes, but don't interact with
people if I can help it, and I treat "small" gigs like nuisances. I'd
probably find more joy if I was a little more involved in life's
details.

I hope that wasn't too revealing. I guess we all have this desire to
be known, just some of us lack the courage and voice to let ourselves
be known. Even more, I think, we have a desire to be known, and loved
in light of it.

Let's Move

I was thinking about this today on a long drive.

Places I Would Want To Live In For a Few Years:
Italy
London
SoCal
Dallas
Houston
Austin
Las Vegas
Virginia

Places I Would Want To Live In For a Year:
New York
L.A.
Boston
Florida
Germany
Austria
Nashville
Seattle
Portland

Places I Need To Visit Still:
Greece
Scotland
New England
South America

Favorite Smaller Towns in America:
Jackson, MS
Eugene, OR
Pasadena, CA
Destin, FL
Lake McConaughey, NB

Maybe these lists are not complete. I like alot of places.

Music

Ok, it's a general topic, very wide in its scope. So let's narrow it
down to "what music is."

I was reading some reviews of an album on iTunes today, and I came
across the phrase, "If you don't like this album, you don't understand
what music is." I'll be honest, that made me laugh. Who made
LaterGator the expert on what music is?

It's something I've dealt with for the past few years as I've grown
musically and been put into some very differing musical situations:
What is music?

I play with those who would say that music is art, that it's an
expression, and only the most organic, bare, poetic, honest portrayals
of human life and existence are worth listening to. All it takes is a
way with words, a few chords, and an unpolished, moody voice, and
you've got art. Anyone can do it.

I'll be honest, that approach upsets me. Why did I spend so many hours
of my life so far perfecting skills, researching history and
technique, and ridding myself of the rawness that some people see as
"art?"

So then, is the only true music the disciplined arts? Is the purest
form of expression found with complete mastery of the medium being
expressed? I love to hear people who are proficient (at least) on
their instruments. There is something inspiring about listening to
someone who has given much of their time and thought into mastering a
skill. It is a truer talent, however, when you can mix that
proficiency with emotion and communication. Those are things that
can't necessarily be taught. They separate good from great.

Can you be proficient and not expressive? Yes. Music can become
mathematical and methodical, as can anything (love, religion, visual
arts). I've heard plenty of concerts that sounded like a reciting of
notes rather than a portrayal of art. You can tell the difference
between good acting and bad acting, right? A high school play going to
be different from a blockbuster movie. Is that because the high school
students don't have something to say? Or is it because the big actors
have spent years training and gaining experience?

But does music have to express something to be good? Does it have to
reveal something profound about life and the human condition? If I may
complain about something, I don't like the word "cheesy." I've known
people that have a self-proclaimed "high cheesy meter." I've never
known any aspect of music to be more subjective than "cheesiness."
What you see as cheesy, I might see as fun. What I see as cheesy, you
might see as cool or modern. I think most rap music is cheesy, but for
some reason it sells, and people listen to it. Everything Fergie has
released is cheesy, but she's always on the top of the iTunes
downloads. I think some of the music I listen to could be considered
cheesy, but I also see the skill of the players, and can't call that
cheesy. Do you think classical music is cheesy? I could give you just
as many reasons why it's genious.

I'm tired of typing now. I never intended to end this with a
conclusion of "this specific music is real music." If you like it,
it's music to you. Just everybody stop saying their music is real
music. As much as I hate to admit it, rap is music. Pointellism is
technically music. Atonality is music, as much as Emo. I guess I am
now the expert, so if I say music is real music, then I'm correct,
right? I'm not afraid of people having differing opinions, I just
don't like those who put down another opinion to lift up their own. I
don't have to like rap or hip hop, but I won't think you're dumb for
liking it. It makes you happy, just like bluegrass or classical makes
me happy, then you should like it. Tha'ts all I have to say today.
Stay cool.

- josh

What's wrong with the world?

I've spent the last hour or so listening to 30 second clips on iTunes.
It started with "Chicken Noodle Soup," the newest dance craze from
Harlem. I try to understand, but I don't. I guess there might be some
place for music to be used simply to provide a beat to move to, rather
than contain some melodic or lyrical idea that is profound or
beautiful or useful. I moved on from there to the Itunes Essentials,
going back through the late 90's and remembering all the old songs I
used to listen to. That was fun.

I caught some hint from my Grandma that she wasn't enjoying "Mmmbop"
and "Truly Madly Deeply," so I switched to "40's Pop." And here's the
point. Music back then was GOOD. It was catchy without losing much
depth, it was fun, it was masterfully played and sung, it was arranged
with thought and skill. I was listening to extremely tight harmonies
sung WITHOUT digital pitch correction. It was practically flawless.
Now, singers can't even harmonize to their own pre-recorded voices in
simple intervals without fixing the pitch. These guys were singing
complex harmonies and moving in unison in pitch. Makes me sick.

I love technology and the way it can help us make good records now,
but I would almost give it up to know that music can still be made
well by actual musicians who can play and sing. Maybe then there'd be
less crap out there like "Chicken Noodle Soup" and more actual music.
I dunno, maybe I'm just jealous I can't sing those harmonies or play
perfectly every time. But I'm also challenged to continue to strive to
play well, and not settle for "fixing it in the mix."

Something to think over

"I can never be a true disciple of Jesus Christ until I adequately despise sin. It is not enough for me to abandon sin; I must loathe it. God refers to sin in terms of beastliness, the stubborn horse, the wily snake, the mud-loving pig. That is not accidental. The beast does what is natural to it; its behavior is instinctive, and it is not redeemable. The beastliness of sin represents sin in its farthest distance from God, not merely that which is different from God, but that which is opposite. My true feeling about sin is never reflected about sin in general; it is always about sin in me. God never redeems abstractions or principles; He redeems people. Until I can loathe the sin I commit, I will never understand God's attitude toward my sin.


To be a true disciple of Christ I must see the beastliness of sin before it works its devastation upon me. I must hate it everlastingly. I must never lose my grip on the fact that it was my very own sin that drove Jesus to tears, to loud outcries, to moaning and groaning, and to the bloody nails. When I feel this way about my sin, I will understand Isaiah's 'Woe is me' and what it means to be cleansed with a coal from the altar."


W. Glynn Evans

Life-changer... right here

That video right there has just changed my life. Two reasons. Firstly, that song is actually good. Who knew? This is a good example of how production, albeit catchy, can completely distract from a song. Secondly, ... ok, I think there was only one reason it changed my life. No, two. Here's the other reason. This relatively unknown Christian band has this cool video on YouTube, and all of a sudden, people start wondering who this Obadiah Parker band is. I know I did. Their internet music sales have gone way up in the last few months, and people know who they are. I guess that just shows that there's no one way to success or popularity in entertainment.




I'm in California this month, touring with Matt Brouwer. It's going really great so far. I'll have more updates later.

Liquid Silver

I saw my reflection across the room
Thought I was beautiful
But You gently took me, wiped my dust away
Said I could be beautiful, so beautiful

The crucible hurts me, as it changes my form
How can I be beautiful?
I'm totally liquid and starting to boil
You say I'll be beautiful, so beautiful

You stir me and sift me, the dross floats away
When will I be beautiful?
The fire, it still burns me, I'm filling my mold
You're making me beautiful, so beautiful

Removing the heat, You reveal my new form
Oh God, am I beautiful?
You see Your reflection, and smile at Your work
And say "Child, now you're beautiful, so beautiful"

"And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one
refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon
my name,and I will answer them. I will say, 'They are my people';and
they will say, 'The LORD is my God.'" Zech 13:9 (esv)